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8/23/05 – Problem bears are nothing new to seasoned BWCA campers. According to conventional wisdom, yelling, banging on pots and pans, and throwing rocks are the best ways to defend one’s campsite from an invading black bear.
Convinced that more elegant (and entertaining) modes of bear deterrence were possible, Sawbill crew members Pat Nash, Carl Hansen, Jeff Green and Adam Hansen set out to find a better method.
After several fruitless hours of brainstorming, Nash conceived the “Bear Joust”: standing on a bear-proof barrel filled with food, holding a double-bladed paddle tipped with Shaolin sleeping bags of fury, delivering crushing body blows to all who wander too near.
The team immediately began honing their jousting skills in a Gladiator-styled death-match round robin tournament.
Although several minor injuries were sustained, the group made the important discovery that bear jousting is a completely useless, if not totally hilarious, technique for fighting off bears.
Fight! Nash and Carl get ready to rumble.
Four seconds into the match, Nash delivers a blow to Adam’s Adam’s apple.
Editors note: Remember, the best way to deal bears in real life is to be prepared, hang your food at least 12 feet high and 6 feet from the nearest tree or limb, and patiently stand your ground (i.e., don’t panic) if a bear does visit your campsite.